#listen... i really love pigeons okay

[cora-says]

Me staring at the ceiling unable to sleep: ...

My brain: ...

Me: Please don-

My brain: WE ABANDONED PIGEONS WE LOVED THEM DOMESTICATED THEM AND THEN LEFT THEM!!! HOW COULD-

Me: *starts crying over pigeons AGAIN*

[queer-devil]

DRDT Incorrect Quotes Pt 2

Bc it was fun last time

Same generator was used

Eden: Good morning!

Ace: Is it? Is it really?

J: You know what the problem is? Your really cute, so no one ever told you to shut your pie-hole.

Veronika: You think I’m cute?

J: SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE!

Nico: Hu, Ace keeps bullying me at school.

Hu: Ask your teacher for help.

The next day…

Nico, to their teacher: Will you help me beat up Ace?

Teruko: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!

Nico: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!

Teruko:

Teruko: What?

Nico: I need to feed my Neopets!

Teruko: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!

Eden: It's kind of complicated, but Ace-

Teruko: Got it. Forget I asked.

Whit: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?

Nico: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.

Eden: Breathe, just breathe.

Arei: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

David: Awww, that never bothered you before.

Rose: I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Whit: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited.

Charles: "If?"

Ace: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and they might not even die.

Min: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

Whit: Fellas, I gotta know for science. Is the opposite of red green or blue?

Rose: Technically a mix of green and blue?

Ace: So blurple.

Levi: That's implying you're mixing blue and purple.

Ace: Would you rather have fucking bleen? MOTHERFUCKING GRUE?

Levi: You were confusing before but now I'm scared.

David: What are the hardest things to say?

Charles: I was wrong.

Teruko: I need help.

Whit: Worcestershire sauce.

Teruko: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Charles and Whit's convo?

Eden: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

Veronika: I'm in the washing machine.

Ace: I'm in the closet.

Eden: We accept you Ace.

Ace: No I'm literally in the closet.

Eden: Love is love.

Charles: There's nothing to do....

Whit: You can wash the dishes you promised to wash about a week ago.

Charles: *pulls out his phone* Nevermind.

Veronika, watching Ace: Ah yes. The mysterious and beautiful Ace…

Veronika: …I wonder what sort of melodic sounds this wonderful being makes?

Ace: *screaming*

Eden: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter?

J: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes.

Veronika: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

Teruko: Why would you give a knife to Xander?!

David, shrugging: Xander felt unsafe.

Teruko: Now I feel unsafe!

David: I’m sorry…

David: Would you like a knife?

J: I have a problem.

Veronika: Kill it.

J: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

Xander: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life difficult.

Ace, sarcastically: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.

Whit: Don't quote me on this, but I believe murder is illegal!

Ace: Come to think of it… You’ve always been nice to me.

Ace: I mean, you listen to all my problems-

Levi: No, Ace I just simply stand here while you talk, there’s a big difference.

Eden: You know what I learned from my friendship with Ace?

Nico: There’s no such thing as too mean?

J: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?

Levi: Always hold a grudge?

Levi: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you.

Nico: Being a fish.

Levi: …Well, shit.

David: I don’t mean to be rude—

Teruko: Yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often.

Hu: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

David: ...

David: What a stupid fucking quote.

David: I'm killing way more than two people, idiot.

Eden: You know, Teruko, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Teruko: ...

Teruko: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

Levi: Hey, Ace, do you have feelings for me?

Ace: Yeah, anger.

[jymwahuwu]

Hii! Ok so, how would Tighnari and Cyno react to darling being depressed? And I mean, she was depressed before, but now its worse.

How would they react to see darling in a state where she cant get hernself to eat, and struggles to even brush her teeth?

What would they do to make her feel better?

Also, ik Tighnari wats a BIG family, but, would he really risk darling's depression get even worse by getting her pregant? (After pregancy or during the pregancy, a lot of women end up suffering from depression)

Also, just imagine them react to her having a very bad estime asswell witch lead to the first state of depression before abduction (after abduction it got worse) bc of the toxic people she has been surrounded, and cannot bring hernself to look in the mirror?

Ok, idk if ur gonna accept to do this, but I was just trying to make mynself relate to the reader 😅

Anyways, thank you for reading my request and if u dont want to do it, its fine, dw! (Again, excuse my bad english)

TW: yandere, kidnapping, mentioned pregnancy, depressed reader

Tighnari and Cyno see you sinking so depressed that they start looking for any way to make you feel better. This isn't the first time they've comforted the family, and Collei has given them a little experience.

You chew the bread a few times, letting out soft whimpers and sniffles occasionally, and then burst into tears, tears falling into the bread, the salty taste melting on your tongue. They think you're rebellious and tell you to finish your meals in a firmer tone.

"I-I can't." You said.

Cyno: "What? Why? It's just a piece of bread, listen to me, take a few bites."

Tighnari: "Are you sure you don't want that bit of nutrition? Eat it, don't make me say it again."

You are so powerless in your current situation that you suspect this is your punishment - why did the Forest Rangers/General Mahamatra lock you up? Why is he acting like he loves you? Love is locking that person up against their will?

They didn't investigate your mental health before this. This is really unexpected. Poor thing, you can't even do simple things like dressing yourself and brushing your teeth by yourself now. They'll do this for you and even shower you. It's kind of satisfying and guilt-ridden for them - you're like a little pigeon eating in their hands. It would be too cruel to put you in a cage like this.

They bring you any gift you want, almost allow you to get anything you can buy with mora, bring you Fontaine's popular magazine, Inazuma's light novel. They read you some funny joke or content. You can even go out as much as you want! As long as you end up returning within a day, they won't ask you to explain or capture you.

They can't be there for you 24/7. In their absence, they are viscerally uncomfortable at the thought that you might sob. So! They allow you to have some pets, what do you want? cat? dog? bird? little sheep? fish? Crystalflies? Tighnari will teach you how to take care of them. He brought Karkata over here. Sometimes you will see that adorable mechanical crab make coffee and cover you with quilts! Cyno, studies methods with you. He will call himself dad and the pets are the kids.

As for getting pregnant…if they find out you're in this state, they won't even try. Even if there is no big family to leave a little regret, but it's okay. Love is the most important thing in the family. They have to take care of you.

[fairyhaos]

. ˚ lost in this green (and in your eyes)

pairing: wood nymph!joshua x gn!reader

genre: fluff, magic realism, meet cute, besties!97z

word count: 2371

warnings: brief mentions of fainting

notes: i just. i just love wood nymph!shua a lot okay pls he'd fit the concept so devastatingly well

summary: you're lost in the forest, and it's terrible and terrifying and you're all alone but then... well, you meet someone, and suddenly you find yourself wondering if fairytales and myths really are just tales.

"Lee Seokmin, you are so dead."

You turn around in a circle, looking around for any recognisable objects around you, desperately trying to find a way out. When you see none that could possibly mark out this section of the forest as different to where you’ve been traipsing through earlier, you sigh, frustrated. 

This was all Seokmin's fault. Okay, maybe not entirely his fault, but it was all his stupid dare to get you to fetch him a squirrel from the woods (what sort of dare was that, anyway?) and now… Well, now you're lost. 

It had all started when Mingyu had abruptly announced that you should go on an outing for fun, and then Minghao, being Minghao, had insisted that all four of you take a trip into the countryside for the outing, smack-dab in the middle of nowhere for a 'healing day out' in a field surrounded by trees. It had been fun, for all of one hour before you'd devolved into a game of truth or dare that had ultimately led you to venture into the surrounding trees to go catch a squirrel for Lee Seokmin. 

Oh, that guy really is so dead if you manage to make it out.

"Seokmin? Mingyu? Can anyone hear me?"

The wind rustles the leaves in reply, almost mocking, and distantly there's the sound of some insect creaking. Everything around you is green and brown, and even when you look up, the blue sky and bright sun is covered by the dense foliage. This is a little bit terrible. 

Sighing, you continue on your trek through the woods. Not being the best with directions, you'd kind of lost where you were going about 5 minutes into the forest, and so you have no idea if you're heading back to the field or if you're going in an entirely different direction. You just hope you're not walking around in circles, because that would—

You pause in your tracks. For a moment, there’s only the sound of a pigeon cooing somewhere, but you listen harder, certain that it was a distinctive voice that you heard. And then, there it is again, louder, and you’re sure of it. There's a voice, calling for you, and it sounds a lot like Minghao. 

“Minghao!” Immediately, you’re scrambling towards the noise, running along the soft forest floor, accidentally kicking bushes and almost tripping over tree roots. “Minghao, oh my god, what took you guys so long?”

But abruptly, Minghao stops yelling for you, and the forest is silent again. The trees are tall, looming, now, and you kind of wish it was Mingyu’s stupid height looming over you rather than these dark, unresponsive trees. 

You wait, for several moments, straining to hear Minghao’s voice again. But when he calls, it’s in a completely different direction, so you curse to yourself and start running off again.

You’re deeper into the woods now, you’re sure of it, because the trees are denser and there’s less light and the sound of animals and insects have disappeared. The air is still as you run through the forest, still following the faint sound of Minghao’s voice, and when you stop, it’s as if the entire world is silent, with not even the trees making a breath of noise. 

Minghao’s voice disappears, yet again, and now you’re worried that your brain is playing tricks on you. The bushes you brush against are getting thornier, bigger, difficult to get past, and the trees look like they’ve enlarged and now seem to try and slap you across the face with their rough branches. 

You’re well and truly lost now. Minghao’s voice doesn’t sound again, and you turn around aimlessly in circles, hoping that somehow, you’ll magically find an exit. 

But then. In the eerie stillness of the forest, any sound and movement echoes through the trees, and you hear a branch snap to your left.

“Hello?” you call out, hoping it’s just Minghao or one of the others behind the bushes, waiting to jump out at you. “Who is it?”

There’s silence.

And then a bush rustles to your right.

You whip your head around. “Come on, stop playing. Just show yourself, I know you’re there.”

There’s a good chance, you know, that it’s just a woodland creature or something, but everything in this part of the woods seems so dead and dark that part of you is sure that it has to be a person rather than an animal.

Slowly, gingerly, you creep towards the bush. It rustles again, and you flinch, but then the distinct sound of Minghao’s giggles comes from the bush and you move forwards, and just as you’re peering over…

“Boo!”

A person jumps out at you, yelling in Minghao’s voice. His hair is long, his eyes are large, and he looks like he has little stars around his doe eyes and he’s smiling widely, wickedly, delighted.

You scream, and he laughs with Minghao’s laugh, and the last thing you see are his eyes suddenly widening in horror as the world fades to black and you fall to the floor.

All you can think is, ‘That wasn’t Minghao’.

————————————— 🌿

When you regain consciousness again, there’s a man leaning over you. His eyes are large and he has little stars around his doe eyes, too, and for a moment you’re sure that it was the person who had scared you who was now going to try and kidnap you.

You yelp, attempting to scramble away, but the man just shushes you, gently and firmly placing hands on your shoulders to keep you against the tree you’re propped up on.

“I’m sorry,” he says, chuckling a little. “Jeonghan is a bit of a menace, but he means well. He just loves imitating voices, and he didn’t intend to take the joke that far. He meant you no harm, truly.”

The man’s hands are now on your face, brushing your cheeks softly, making soft sounds to calm down your racing heart. Now that you’re properly looking at him, the man focused on dislodging a leaf that fell on your shoulder, you can see he’s not the same man as earlier. Not Jeonghan, or whatever this man had called him. But you stiffen up, still, unsure if you can trust him.

He looks up at you then, warm eyes meeting yours. His eyes are constantly turned up at the corners, you notice faintly. He looks like a baby deer.

“I won’t hurt you,” the man says. “I promise. No one here wants to hurt you.” He pauses. “At least, not intentionally.”

Well. That doesn’t exactly make you feel reassured.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He smiles again, and you realise that even his mouth is constantly turned up at the corners. 

He’s so pretty.

“Let me try again. I’m Joshua,” pretty man says, and he sits back a little to hold out his hand. “And I noticed that you’re a little lost here. I was wondering if I could maybe help lead you out?”

You look down at the hand, surprised to find yourself endeared by the action as you reach out to shake it. His hand is warm, too, as warm as his eyes, rough and soft in yours at the same time. Your heart is still racing when you release his hand, but now it’s for an entirely different reason.

“Y/N,” you reply, deciding that, at this point, you’re not sure you have anything to lose by following this pretty man. At least, if you die, you’ll die by the hands of a gorgeous stranger. “And I think any help would be much appreciated.”

Joshua smiles again, and takes your hand to pull you upright, swiftly walking off, hand still clasped with yours.

The woods are still silent, but it no longer feels as if every sound has been suffocated—rather, it’s a peaceful silence, and maybe it’s brought on by the peace you feel with a warm hand firmly holding yours, and a presence beside you that’s quiet and gentle and relaxing.

He’s silent the entire way, walking with you through trees as if he’s following an invisible path, pushing away branches for you and gently guiding you to one side to avoid tripping on roots. You can’t help but glance at him, often, because he’s so pretty and so calm and, in turn, it makes you feel calm too.

There are flowers weaved into his hair and they wave gently in the wind that has managed to come to life again. The forest feels lighter now, less terrifying, and birds now seem to chirp cheerfully in the trees above you.

One bird comes and lands on Joshua’s shoulder as you walk and you startle in surprise, but the man doesn’t even bat an eye, smiling down at it in greeting.

“Well, hello there,” he says. “What do you want now, you little rascal?”

Joshua’s tone is fond, affectionate, and when the bird chirrups, he laughs. 

“Yes, this person is very pretty, isn’t it?” he chuckles, and it makes you blush slightly. Nevermind the fact that he’s talking to a bird. “But unfortunately, they’re not here to stay. We need to lead them out.”

The bird trills, but Joshua just laughs again, and then it flies off.

You watch it go, curiously, and then look at Joshua, who seems completely unfazed by what would have been, to any other normal person, an incredibly weird exchange.

The stars around his eyes glitter as he turns to look at you. They don’t look like stick-on gemstones or even glitter patches, but look as if they’re embedded in his skin. As if the stars are part of him.

“What brought you here to my humble forest?” he asks, and you blink a little at the strange phrasing of his sentence. 

“Oh. I was… trying to catch a squirrel. For my friend.” It sounds ridiculous, when you say it aloud, but it manages to make Joshua laugh, sweet and beautiful and melodic, and you can’t help but smile.

He tilts his head, amused, and now his eyes are sparkling too. “A squirrel? Well, I think you may have failed at that. Unfortunately.”

You shake your head. “This is all Seokmin’s fault. He knows I’m bad with directions, and yet he sent me off into the forest. Alone.”

Joshua’s hand tightens around yours, secure. “Don’t worry. You’re not alone anymore.” He nudges his shoulder against yours, and the sun is now peeking through the leaves, casting a dappled golden shine over his face. “I’m here now.”

That makes you duck your head, shyly, awed by his beauty.

It takes a few more minutes, but eventually, the trees thin and you can see a road ahead of you, a road that looks awfully like the one that Minghao had driven down hours ago to get you to the field.

“Ah, it seems that we’re here,” Joshua says, and he lets go of your hand. When you look back at him, confused, he smiles a little sadly. “This is as far as I can take you. It’s too polluted there for me, and I can’t leave my home.”

“Your home?” you repeat, but he’s stepping forward again, and then leans in to press the lightest kiss on your cheek. It makes heat rush into your face, blushing at the sudden action, but he’s already stepping away before you can react.

“Goodbye, Y/N, and I hope you manage to get home safely.” He grins, lips turning up at the corners a little mischievously. “Hopefully you manage to catch a squirrel someday.”

You blink, startled, because suddenly he’s leaving even though he’d been by your side for so long. “Wait,” you call out, “what are you?”

Joshua laughs, and he’s already begun to fade back into the trees, the stars sparkling around his eyes. “Wasn’t it obvious?” he says.

“I’m a nymph.”

And then he’s gone, melted back into the forest, and you’re standing there alone, straining to see where he went, wanting to know what he meant, wanting to know whether he really was a mystical nymph that you only read about in legends.

You stand there at the edge of the forest for a lot longer, and are about to walk back into the trees again when there’s the sound of a car driving down the road, and someone honks the car horn loudly, making you jump and turn around.

Mingyu has rolled down the window of the passenger seat, practically half falling out of the car.

“You!” he yells. “We’ve been looking for you for ages! Why weren’t you answering your phone?”

And instantly, the memories of before you’d found Joshua come flooding back, and you run towards the car, yelling at Mingyu.

“There’s no service in a forest, idiot!” You open the car door and get in, only to be tackled by Seokmin, who’s sitting in the back seat beside you.

He sobs dramatically, wrapping his arms tight around you. “Why did you disappear like that! We thought you were dead!”

“No, I wasn’t dead, why—hey.” You frown down at him from where he’s buried his head into your shoulder. “It was you. You sent me into the forest to get you a stupid squirrel!” 

Mingyu laughs at that, looking back at you as Minghao drives off again. “Yeah, Seokmin, you sent Y/N in there.”

Seokmin’s eyes go wide as you wrestle out of his arms to shake his shoulders. “I’m going to kill you! This is all your fault!”

“What—! Hey, we found you in the end, didn’t we? Minghao! Help!”

“Hey hey, no killing in my car,” Minghao interrupts sternly, and he sounds genuinely serious, so you settle down. Not before balling your fist and shaking it at Seokmin, though. This guy really is dead once you get out of the car.

Minghao looks at you in the rearview mirror, eyes glittering amusedly. “How did you even manage to get out? You have literally no sense of direction.”

You don't even register the teasing, eyes going distant as you recall stars around eyes and flowers weaved in hair. You smile, feeling your face warm up, leaning back against the headrest.

“I found a nymph.”

fics tags: @jeonginssa ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @minhui896 ,, @bunnyiix ,, @slytherinshua ,, @haowrld ,, @belladaises ,, @moonlitskiiies ,, @cinnamoroxie ,, @butiluvu ,, @wonranghaeee ,, @zozojella ,, @kawennote09 ,, @thedensworld ,, @a-wandering-stay ,, @abibliolife ,, @doublasting

[zxmbievxmit]

Okay so because I’m bored and because I just want to talk about my favorite character, here are some Will Solace Headcanons. Some I will elaborate on some I just made up.

- Has the curliest hair (other than Leo)

- Has freckles EVERYWHERE

- Has scars mostly from Tartarus and training

- Sucks at archery (most training scars are from archery)

- Almost always wears flip flops, but on occasion wears sneakers

- The sneakers he does wear are absolutely destroyed / covered in doodles

- Loves dogs especially Golden Retrievers and Australian Shepherds

- Also loves fish and guinea pigs

- Never ever takes off the chain w/ Nico’s ring

- Pretty good at guitar, amazing singing voice

- Has bad ADHD, copes with it by constantly being busy

- Overworks himself a lot

- Gets reenergized from the sun (so do all Apollo kids), sometimes he just sits out in the sun

- Sometimes helps w/ camp plays / musicals

- Listens to Taylor Swift, Conan Gray, Olivia Rodrigo, Mitski?, Laufey, and musicals (not limited to these)

- Terrified of pigeons, but loves other birds. Especially crows, thinks they’re pretty (like Nico)

- Special interests are Star Wars and true crime

- Wear a lot of jewelry, especially earrings. He has a lot of piercings

- Can draw pretty well, especially autonomy but doesn’t draw a lot

- Cries every time he watches Frozen (sibling angst)

- Loves Tangled, loves when people compare him to Rapunzel

- Not picky, will eat anything

- Does kill bugs but Nico refuses to. Saves them every time

- Loves horror movies (especially slasher ones), analyzes the gore and how realistic it is

- Good friends with Leo, Percy, Clarisse, Cecil, Lou Ellen, and Nyssa

- Watches nature documentaries (gets sad when the animals die)

- Was really close to Lee Fletcher and Michael Yew, Michael taught him how to be a medic

- Looks like a surfer boy but sucks at surfing

- Had really blue eyes (blue eyed stare)

- Hair looks golden when the sun hits it

- Has bad nightmares

- All Apollo kids wake up with the sun

- Annotates every book. Has annotated a lot of Nico’s books (Nico loves it)

- Has dyslexia (like most demigods) but loves reading

- Has pretty bad anxiety, but his hands are pretty steady

- Stays calm under pressure most of the time

- Songs that make me think of him: Mirrorball, Summer Child, All American Bitch, Working for the Knife, and From the Start

- Hates hot pink (idk)

- Nico sometimes does his makeup and paints his nails

I have more for other characters (and some more of Will) but that’s all I’m doing rn

[itsmebytch001]

Dad! Aaron Davis X Daughter! Reader.

(Headconnons)

Is super chill about most things, including you smoking weed, under the conditions of it only ever being in the house, never more than twice a week and always from his guy, so he knew it was clean.

Would even support you dropping school for your creative indevours, as long as you had a plan that is, he would even help you with building your portfolio, taking you to secretive spots of the underground where he knew there where blank walls.

The only thing he's not chill about boys, Can't have then over, Can't be dating round, can't go on dates, and if your gay, he would be so supportive, not only beascuse he's a decent person, but beacuse he dosen't have to worry about men anymore, infact he would brag about it to Jeff as a 'I don't have to worry about teen pregnancy, or dating bad men beacuse my daughters gay and your son inst HAHA'

Jeff: "And You're letting her drop out of colluge!?"

Aaron: "Listen man, school was never her thing and she's got real potentail in fashion...I think I don't know know shit about clothes"

Jeff: "Your her father, not her friend and your treating her like a friend! She need's someone to hold her down in education"

Aaron: "It Isn't working for her!"

Jeff: "You aren't pushing her enough!"

Aaron: "Listen Jeff, I'm going to support her fashion, and art or whatever she wants. baecuse she's a good kid, and she's good at what she dose, and besides she's pulling her weight, She's got a job"

Jeff: "...Listen I'm just worried she's gonna fuck it up"

Aaron: "So am I, but I think she could do great if I let her"

3. Pulls you out of burnout before it becomes all consuming. He comes home to find you embryoidng something at 1am, on your 6th coffee of the night, shaking a bit due to the energy, sourounded by the fabric and sparkles.

Aaron: "Ay, you okay?"

Y/n: "Yeah Yeah, I'm fine"

He looks round your room, consumed in mess and materials. He places a hand on your shoulder pulling you back a bit.

Aaron: "Okay, I think It's time you took a break yeah?"

Y/n: "No, I really need to finish this, if I don't now I never will"

Aaron: "How many coffee's have you had?"

Y/n: "I don't know, like 4 or 5"

He looked around and saw some cans aswell.

Aaron: "You have some energy drinks too?"

Y/n: "Maybe"

Aaron:"M'kay" He said as he removed your needle from your hand, pulling you up from your shoulder.

Aaron: "Lets get some food, yeah?"

Y/n: "...yeah"

4. Whenever Jeff and Aaron where having problems, you and Miles became the line of communication between the two sides of the family, and though you really didn't like it, becasue Jeff and Aaron were two grown men you would tolerate it, for your Dad, And for Miles who also agreed this whole thing was Mad, who grown men so petty they communicated through their children.

Now of course you two never liked this, and tried to express this to your Dad's, they never understood how straining it was for you and Miles to be messenger pigeons.

But Aaron loved you, and though he found it strange to express that to you verbally, he did, but he mainly showed you through buying you stuff, sometimes when he was gone for days at a time, he would just buy you loads of stuff, or taking you on shopping sprees in order to make it up to you, buying you makeup, clothing, fabric or art supplies, and though you liked the stuff, you needed a Father, and eventually he got the idea that him being present was more important the just lots of stuff.

And honestly, you were the only reason he left the Prolwer life behind, he was terrified if someone found out who he was, they would then come after you, so he abanonded the life, and actually stared a enginnering career, and it also only beacuse of you that Jeff and Aaron mildy reconnected, When Jeff found out your Mom was pregnant, only a few months behind Rio, he thought it would be good for the family to come back together for you two, thought that never really happened, it certianley helped, Jeff and Aaron would occesianlly chat, use thier children as messganger birds to insult each other, and would buy each other insulting gifts on christmas, for exsample last year, your Dad brought your Uncle Jeff a scale.

You and Miles where always close though, you were kinda like estranged siblings, and even when your Dad's where agruing, you wto would still text, call sometimes to give small upates on life, and would occesiannly see each other when ever Miles came round the house, were you'd find him just casullay sitting in your room waiting for you.

Actually, you and Miles didn't meet until you were 6, Rio had enough on waiting for Aaron to reach out, so one day she just turnded up at his door with Miles, she was furious he wasn't teaching you Spanish and you didn't even know who they were, you refused to let Miles play with your dolls beacuse he was a stranger, who was this kid? Just coming in your house, touching your stuff?

It took awhile for you to accept and understand the idea of cousin and Auntie, you thought she was just your Dad's friend with her son, but eventually when you stared going to Middle school together, you two actaully bonded.

And though you and Rio were close, you and Jeff never really clikced though you got on, You didn't like being in thier house, you flet like a ghost, and Uncle Jeff was always pestering you about school, and how you were doing even though he knew you had left to persue other things, he was trying to scare you back in, and you knew it was for good reason, he was worried you end up like Aaron, pre you and mess up your life, but you two were so distant, it felt like an intrusion.

Pt 2?

[fish-eat-fish]

⋆ Miles x Spider!gn!reader Headcanons ⋆

a/n: i’m actually like half awake rn, but wanted to post something anyways! sorry if this appears rushed it is, also i just realized i kind of gave up on the headcanon format halfway but whatevs, miles!!! such a cutie

✰✰✰

⋆ When the two of you first met, you were instantly charmed with him, Miles chatting you up with his friendly outgoing personality

⋆ Showed genuine interest in you and your experience as being a Spiderperson

⋆ Definitely geeked out about your suit and your powers, absolutely showed off, showcasing his powers to you

⋆ The two of you just had so much chemistry talking at the first meeting, it was impossible to forget

⋆ The two of you started hanging out more and more after, especially through texting since he didn’t leave his dimension that often

⋆ He uses kaomojis (so happy this is canon), and you found it absolutely adorable, “coming over now!!!╰(*´︶`*)╯”

⋆ When you bring up his cutesy way of texting in person he acts all casual about it, but he’s a little embarrassed at your comments about it

⋆ Likes hanging out in your room, makes himself at home whilst still respecting your space

⋆ Definitely comes over to just chat and draw, and listen to music

⋆ He sings so badly but puts so much emotion into it you can’t help but laugh, “What what’s wrong with my singing?” He likes to act offended but he’s happy he’s making you laugh

⋆ Gets worried about you after you’ve had a risky or dangerous fight

⋆ He makes sure you’re okay and patched up before he starts cracking jokes to take your mind off of your encounter

⋆ Miles loves taking pictures of cool things he sees in Brooklyn, sending it to you as he takes a break from swinging

⋆ Shares pictures and of cute animals to you like a mom, in return you send pictures of your dimension back, occasional selfies which Miles stares at longer than he’d like to admit

⋆ Swung into a pigeon and a drone multiple times as he was texting and swinging

⋆ He loves drawing doodles onto your skin, but secretly just likes having an excuse to hold your hand as he draws

⋆ Jokingly flirts with you at first, until he actually realizes he has feelings for you

⋆ He’s super nervous at first to be even suggesting that kind of stuff between the two of you, until he has some confirmation that you could potentially like him back

⋆ Then that’s when the flirting gets amplified

⋆ Probably kicks his feet and giggles whenever you do something sweet for him

⋆ Not kicking his feet physically, more just stuffing his face into his pillow as he runs the moment back over in his mind again and again

⋆ Definitely lays in bed wide awake thinking about you, he is such an overthinker

⋆ Likes sharing his songs with you just so he can use it as an excuse to have the two of you sharing headphones

⋆ He has a horrible crush on you first, sometimes talks about you to Ganke, to which Ganke just tells him to confess already

⋆ Miles gets absolutely anxious at the thought of confessing to you, he does not want to ruin your guys’s friendship

⋆ At one point he gets so desperate for advice that he reaches out to the others for help

⋆ Peter teases him instead of giving advice, he’s so proud of Miles and starts talking about his first meeting with him and Mary Jane, Miles groans and leaves

⋆ Asked Gwen for advice, she shrugged, not really knowing what to say on that topic, she did tease him also

⋆ Gwen let the news slip when talking to Hobie, then Hobie told Pavitr, and now everyone knew of Miles’ crush on you, except you

⋆ Pavitr and Hobie actually gave him good advice, consoling him to confess when he’s ready, maybe do a little romantic gesture

⋆ After a few days of not talking, you got lonely, assuming that Miles was probably just busy with his duties or school in his universe

⋆ You were on patrol one day at night, when you walked past a music store

⋆ You thought about it for a moment, before you decided to walk in, mask on, to purchase some empty CD’s

⋆ A little friendly gesture for Miles, you’d burn a CD for him, sentimental songs that reminded you of him

⋆ The cashier instantly recognized you as the city’s superhero, giving you the CD’s for free, to which you thanked him graciously

⋆ That night after patrolling, you went home and begun your process, collecting the perfect songs

⋆ Just as you were finished, adding the final touches to the CD cover, you heard a faint tapping on your window, which scared you out of your mind, making you jump

⋆ Through the pane of glass, Miles laughed at you, waving to you as he stood outside with his suit on

⋆ You opened the window, and let him in, excited to see him again

⋆ “Miss me?” He teased, taking a seat at your desk, before he noticed all of the paper scraps around your room

⋆ Lo and behold, Miles’s Mixtape, held proudly in your hand as you gave it to him, waiting for his reaction

⋆ Obviously he was so excited, staring at the CD in his hands with adoration and amazement

⋆ “I was missing you this week, thanks for dropping by,” you said sincerely, Miles glancing at you from his seated position

⋆ He let out a deep breath, the air around him suddenly serious. You watched carefully, adjusting to his vibe right away, giving him your full attention

⋆ Miles set your CD down, looking down at your floor as he spoke up, voice quiet and wavering as he messed with his hands

⋆ You were so shocked, unsure if you heard that right–there was a long period of silence between the two of you, Miles panicking in the corner as he instantly regretted confessing

⋆ All of his confidence disappeared, but before he could leave, you spoke up, admitting that you liked him too

⋆ The two of you looked at each other like idiots, before Miles let out a nervous laugh

⋆ He spoke quietly, asking if he could kiss you

⋆ You couldn’t help but chuckle at his voice crack, nervously leaning in to kiss him anyways, hands grasped onto his cheeks as you felt him smile into the kiss

⋆ Miles didn’t know if he had accidentally shocked you or not during the kiss, or if it was just his nerves, but either way, he laughed in relief

⋆ After, the two of you couldn’t speak to each other without conversations ending in an awkward silence

⋆ He eventually had to leave, although it was extremely reluctantly–the goodbyes were drawn out to like five minutes

⋆ When Miles got back to his dimension, he instantly ran to upstairs to his room, popping in your CD into his jukebox, smiling to himself as he took in the music you had personally selected him

⋆ He couldn’t wait to see you again, drawing a little portrait of you in his sketchbook as he hummed along to the music

✰✰✰

[myloveismineallmine]

Part 3!

Going back to sydcarmy for this one!

This might be the first instance of a romantic song being used with sydcarmy?

Song: In Too Deep- Genesis

Technically, it's only Sydney in this scene. However, contextually, it applies to a situation with Carmy, which is why I'm counting it. (There's a few that are like this I will go over later)

So, plot recap: Carmy is busy dealing with his grief, and he tells Syd to basically reorganize the whole work environment all by herself.

We see this shot of Syd trying to pull herself together in the walk-in, and as she exits, the song begins.

Lyrics over the shots of her with Tina and Ebraheim:

All that time I was searching with nowhere to run to It started me thinking Wondering what I have could make of my life And who'd be waiting

Sydney walks past Marcus, cuts herself on the box cutter, Tina & co ask her if she's okay:

Asking all kinds of questions to myself But never finding the answers Crying at the top of my voice and no one listening

"Crying at the top of my voice and no one listening" is audible as Sydney yells at the staff and tells them she's fine, which is super on the nose.

On Tina:

All this time, I still remember everything you said, ah-ha There's so much you promised, how could I ever forget

The volume grows for this line, so you can really hear the lyrics.

On pot over heating:

Listen, you know I love you, but I just can't take this

Shots of a pigeon and other stuff in the city to establish that we are no longer in the kitchen:

You know I love you, but I'm playing for keeps

The song is abruptly cut off as we see a shot of Carmy, the audio drowned out by the sounds of a train going over tracks.

Kind of a weird cut for the song, since it cuts in the middle of chorus and not in between verses. Like, you're not gonna even play the "But I'm in too deep" part? Damn.

Contextually though, the main chorus "You know I love you, but I just can't take this." was obviously chosen because it fits this scene perfectly. Sydney is having a breakdown because Carmy put her in a really shitty spot. It is technically a love song though? Like, let's not forget that.

I wonder if the choice to cut off the song in the middle of the chorus, especially by being drowned out by a louder sound, was meant to showcase that Carmy was not paying attention to how stressed he was making Sydney. The scene of him they cut to is actually him seeing Nico, who was the person who called him on the phone earlier, reminded him of his dead brother, leaving Carmy to disassociate and leave Sydney on the struggle bus for the subsequent 5 or how ever many minutes of runtime while he goes to al-anon. I didn't really get why they included that sequence before, but it actually makes way more sense after doing this whole breakdown of it.

Bonus song analysis:

Song: Heat Not Hot - Serengeti

Carmy is yelling at Syd about the stock boiling and the onions not being cut and we all feel bad for her.

Don't have the exact lyrics for this song, so I can't break down what the lyrics are in this shot, but the volume does increase as Sydney steps away and starts chopping onions.

How many times I gotta tell you your heat shouldn't've got hot?

How many times you given up, telling me that’s all you got?

It’s not all you got

All you need’s direction

How many times you want the answers for the same questions?

(Tried to write what I heard, may not be 100% accurate.)

How do they find these songs, lol. Such a fitting verse for this scene. Not a love song or anything, but one of many examples of how on the nose a lot of these lyrics are to the story.

[cybrsan]

Ahhh congrats on your 100!!! I love your prompt options, can you plz do yunho with 1, 14, 36

Thank you so much! Since you didn't specify what genre, I avoided writing smut just in case.

Prompts:  1. “Come over here and make me.” + 14. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.” + 36. “You were put on this earth to give me a headache.”  Pairing: Roommate!Yunho x F!Reader Genre: Angst, Fluff Word Count: <1kTags/warnings: Alcohol usage, hidden feelings, somewhat controlling behavior

Requests are currently closed, but my masterlist can be found here.

“Jeong Yunho, give me my phone back right now, or I am going to end you.”

“Come over here and make me,” he teases, letting the device hang haphazardly between his thumb and index finger as he dangles it over the sink that is currently filled with dirty dishes and soapy water. 

You lunge at him and he immediately reacts, holding the phone high over his head and out of your reach. He laughs at you as you try to grab it from him, knowing that your attempts are useless. Not only are you unsteady on your feet from the alcohol, but he has a good few inches on you already. After a few tries, you decide to stop and save the rest of your dignity while you still can.

With an exasperated groan, you take a seat at one of the kitchen barstools, resigning yourself to simply glaring at him until he gives it back or until he erupts into a fiery blaze. Whatever happens first.

“You’re an asshole,” you chide. “I swear, you were put on this earth to give me a headache.” 

He slides your phone into the small space between the cabinets and the ceiling, and you cringe, thinking of all the dust that’s probably up there. Maybe you’ll make him clean it as revenge. He sits next to you, and, petty as you are, you move down a stool so that there is space between you. 

“I’m an asshole for not letting you text your ex? I feel like that’s unfair.” 

You narrow your eyes at him. “I’m going to kick you out.”

“And pay the rent all on your own? Doubt it.”

“You know, you really need to stop hanging out with Wooyoung so much. His brattiness is rubbing off on you.”

Yunho laughs, throwing his head back. “He’s gonna love to hear that.” 

Your conversation tapers off, Yunho getting himself a snack from one of the cupboards while you play absentmindedly with your half-drunk glass of rum and coke. The silence starts to grate at your nerves and, steeling yourself, you down the rest of your drink and get up to put on your coat. 

Yunho eyes you suspiciously. “And where are you going?” 

“Hyunjin’s house. Since someone won’t let me text him.”

“Woah,” he gets up, moving toward you. “I really don’t think that’s a good idea. Look, I’ll give you your phone back, but just wait until you’re sober, okay?” 

“Nice try,” you huff, turning around to leave.

He grabs your wrist, his grip gentle but still firm enough to prevent you from moving. “Y/N, you aren’t thinking straight. He broke your heart, remember?” 

The reminder makes you bristle, and you choose to ignore it. “Yunho, you can’t stop me.”

“I think I can,” he says, moving to stand in front of the door. “Take off your coat.”

“What?”

He raises an eyebrow. “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

You gape at him, shocked by his audacity. Yet, as much as you don’t want to listen to him, there is something about his aura that makes you hesitant to argue. So, for the second time tonight, you give in to him, harrumphing as you take off your coat and throw it directly at his face.

“Fine, you win. I’ll stay locked in the apartment forever, resorting to carrier pigeons and smoke signals as my only means of communicating with the outside world!”

You flop onto the couch dramatically, and Yunho rolls his eyes as he hangs your coat up for you. “You’ll thank me in the morning.”

“Doubt it.” Next thing you know, Yunho is in front of you, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. You screech, flailing in his grasp. “What the hell do you think you are doing?!”

“Putting you to bed.”

“Well, I’m flattered, but I’m really not into the whole super dominant thing.”

He ignores your snide comment, gently placing you into your bed and tucking you in so that the blanket forms a cacoon around you. You grumpily snuggle deeper into your mattress, and he chuckles. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Am not.”

“Are too—even when you attempt to cause me bodily harm. Now get some rest.”

“Wait,” you say, stopping him from leaving. “Can I ask you something?”

He sits next to you and nods. “Yeah, go ahead.” 

“Why do you care so much? About me not reaching out to Hyunjin, I mean.”

“You really have to ask?” When you don’t answer, he continues, “He hurt you, Y/N. I watched, unable to do anything to help, as it took you weeks to get over him. I don’t want to see that happen again. I care about you too much to stand idly by this time.”

You light up a bit at his words. “Yeah? You really mean that?”

He smiles at you, eyes crinkling, and says, “Of course.” Then, leaning down, he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry for stealing your phone earlier. Maybe I was a little drunk, too. I’ll charge it for you.”

“It’s okay. Thank you, Yunho. For looking out for me.”

“Always. Sleep tight, okay?” 

He stands up and turns off your light, and it doesn’t take long for you to fall into a dreamless slumber. When you wake, your phone is at your bedside table, along with a glass of water, some aspirin, and a handwritten note.

Please don’t go back to him. Let me treat you better.

[helluva-dump]

Day 1: Meeting

It was a fun and joyful night in heaven, with a big grand tour performing in their big stadium. Two bands were performing on a tour together, The Pray as well as Adam and the Exorcists.

Lucy is we filled with so much joy, she was always eager to watch The Pray before… though she wasn’t too familiar with Adam and the Exorcists, simply, her father banned their music in their home. To put it simply, he told her a lot of terrible things about the musician and how he’s an obnoxious creep towards women. But after all the convincing from Emily and begging from Lucy, he decided to let her go out.

Azrael knew how much Lucy loved the Pray and knew her intentions were mainly for them. But he did tell Emily to make sure they come straight home after the concert, and to only get autographs from the Pray. And to NOT let Lucy get lost in a crowd or to not even interact with the other “so called band”. Emily feels like Azrael is a bit too paranoid, but understands.

Later that evening, The Pray began to perform as well as Adam and the Exorcists. Lucy, Emily, and Keenie were all in joy just listening to the beautiful angelic voices of the Pray. It was like a miracle for Lucy as if she was in a beautiful ethereal dream with her musician crushes. Though, as she heard Adam and the exorcists perform… she didn’t think they sounded too bad. The music almost sounds like old records her father Azrael had.

It was simply okay. She didn’t really get the hype for Adam and the Exorcists. She was much more into things with a softer and mellow sound with some heavy strums here and there. As the concert was finished, Keenie got so happily excited and flew way towards the merch… Emily tried to ask Keenie to slow it down but the two got into a little fuss. Emily got very peeved with Keenie not following what Azrael told them, that they accidentally separated form Lucy.

Oh poor Lucy, the poor thing. She got lost in the crowd, trying to look for her friends. She was starting to feel over stimulated as if she eas gonna get an anxiety attack… She decided to fly up to search for her friends… that’s until she bumped into a chubby figure in the sky.

“Ow! Hey fucking watch it! I get it! I’m the main star, but listen dude, if you want my autograph, wait your fucking-“ The voice stopped as he took a good look at who bumped into him.

Oh damn, it appears so be some Angel chick… but not just any Angel… she had a beautiful bright blue eyes like the sky, white feathery body with her pigeon like wings, freckles, and long raven hair… but also wearing a cute shirt blue dress with cloud print and sheer sleeves… holy shit…. Damn her curves and body, is Heaven really missing an Angel? She doesn’t seem like a winner or a cherub, but she almost looks like a seraphim… yet her halo looks normal.

Lucy looked at the stranger and realized it was no other than the vocalist from the other band… Adam himself…. In person, right in front of her. Wow, her dad was right, he was pretty rude and arrogant. But she didn’t want to set him off, Lucy replied “Oh goodness! I am so sorry! I got lost in the crowd! You see I’m trying to look for my two friends and ummm… I’m sorry.”

God, her voice is even cute! Her naive nature and how soft and docile she seemed…. So lovely, submissive, and wholesome sounding. Almost reminds him of the days of Eden with Eve…. Adam felt a hard boner downstairs but tried to play it cool… “Oh shit! Excuse my manners babe! I just couldn’t resist to notice how drop dead gorgeous you are!” He replied with a flirtatious grin, trying to be suave. “You know, I can always give you a freebie if you badly want me to sign something.”

“Oh don’t take this personal…. I’m not that familiar with your music… I mainly came for the Pray, my father is sort of strict when it comes to your band… he would get upset if I’m talking to you.” Lucy said with a shy expression on her face, but feels bad. She knew Adam sung his heart out but didn’t want to lie to him.

“Pfffft a daddy’s girl! Ah I got it! Most of their dads don’t like me either!” He replied, but feeling disappointed. How can she not ever hear his music??? Adam, THE ADAM. The original dick! But he kept his cool and held her hand. “If you like, I can offer you some assistance to find your friends.”

“Oh that’s okay… I think I can find them.”

“Don’t worry babe! I always helped lost fans like you find their crowd! Just give me their names.”

As he was about to help her, a voice called out her them.

“LUCY!!!! LUCY!!! ARE YOU UP HERE?!!” The voice got closer and it wasn’t anyone other than Emily. She was so relieved. She felt so bad for getting into an argument with Keenie that she lost Lucy in the crowd. She flew towards her and gave her a hug… “Oh I’m so relieved! Please don’t scare me like that! Keenie is gonna meet up with us down at the souvenir shoppe.”

“HOLY SHIT BALLS! HEY EM!!! How’s your Friday night, didn’t think you knew this cutie too!” Adam was shocked to see Emily here… but wait… the fact she knows this cute girl… holy shit. He’s got a chance! A chance to get to know this special friend! “How come I’ve never seen this cutie around you?”

Emily glared at Adam and held Lucy close to her. “Adam no! She’s off limits! She’s not interested! We are just having a girls night out!”

“Oh c’mon i just wanna know her name!” He whined and pouted. “very rude you know Em…”

Lucy looked at Adam and decided to thank him with a Reply “Oh it’s okay! Thank you Adam… if you do want to know my name… my name is Lucy.”

“Oooo Lucy huh? Makes me think of a certain fallen one… but besides that, I like that name! Hell, it sounds cuter than you know who!”

“Oh no! It’s short for Lucinda! My mom picked it since it means light.” She flustered but felt embarrassed.

“Ah I see, well your are a beautiful light!” Adam got closer to the two girls as he winked at Lucy. “Anyways, got shit to sign but up I’ll give this for you.” He offered Lucy a poster of himself, with a special signature.

Emily rolled her eyes and sighed “Bye Adam, we have to go now.” She said as she grabbed Lucy’s hand and the two girls fled away…

“Hmmm he sure is strange… but seemed so nice and friendly…. Why does my dad hate him?” She has thought to herself.

——————————————————————-

Yeah I’m a day late but here’s my prompt for @hazbinocxcanon for the oc x canon week.

As I said before I changed things with their story and how they met. I’m gonna say him blackmailing her doesn’t happen until later in their relationship. But here’s an insight of how they both met each other.

Yes Keenie is the absent friend where Emily cares so much about her and will fight for Lucy’s life.

Hope you enjoy the art and short story 💖

[the-not-so-silent-back-up]

The Love We Choose

Geraskier ModernAU

a big THANK YOU @cherrychapsticksteve for helping me out figuring some stuff out

Summary: Geralt is a Firefighter, but more important he is a single Dad to 4 y/o Ciri. Regularly they go to a cute little Coffeeshop where Jaskier works. And little Ciri is on a mission to help her Dad to find somebody to love.

Chapter - 1 -

Geralt is waiting outside the Kindergarten to pick up his daughter, there are a few other parents who are talking. But Geralt only knows one of them really so he just waits in silence. He has been alone with Ciri for a few months now, but it's still a weird feeling to come home and see Yennefer's desk empty. 

They have loved each other, they really did but he is bound to his hometown and she needed to be flexible and be able to go on Business trips all the time. Geralt believed that after Ciris' birth things would be different, and things were different for a year at best. But then everything went back to the same old routine. Yennefer was in New York or London or Berlin and Geralt sat at home, the only thing that was truly different, Geralt wasn't alone, no there was Ciri, his daughter, his whole world that he needed to protect. 

When Ciri was old enough to go to the Kindergarten Yennefer and Geralt figured out that they needed to go separate ways. Yennefer loves her Job to much, she really was the unpaid intern that made it to the top of this really big Marketing firm. And she isn't a family person, she tried to be one for Ciri, but she was afraid that she will regret that and will blame Ciri for it in the future, and her daughter didn't deserve this. 

So now when Yennefer is in town, the three spend time together as a little family. It wasn't the family Geralt hoped for, but it's real. And some parents might not believe it but they are all really good with this. In the time they spend with Ciri they are really happy, and the phone calls Ciri has with her mother weekly are really good for their relationship. 

Geralt came to the conclusion that having a family that is really happy and working is much better than to force a family together to fit the image everyone has. 

Roach is pulling on the leash, Ciri has to be in sight. This Dog really loved this Child, and she would do anything to protect her. She once growled at a pigeon because it scared Ciri.

"Daddy, Daddy did you know that hedgehogs eat slugs?" 

"No ,I didn't know that, where did you learn this from?" Geralt picked the little backpack up and took Ciris tiny hand. 

"Miss McHall read a book about hedgehogs and there was a list of what they eat. And then in the garden Benni searched for a slug to try it himself, but he didn't find one." 

"Hmm" Geralt didn't know how to reply to that. 

"Daaaad is today a hot chocolate day?"

"sadly not sweetheart, I forgot my wallet at work but tomorrow is a hot chocolate day I promise" 

"Oh Daddy, you really forget everything when I don't remind you" Ciri shakes her head a bit "But this time I wanna try the strawberry pie for real this time"

"I think Benni wanted to impress the girls," Ciri said at the dinner table "with the slug". What a strange topic at dinner. Geralt frowns in surprise.

"He always does those stupid things and then he runs up to the other girls and shows what he did. When Dara and I were spies we saw that." 

Geralt carefully listens to his daughter. 

"I mean finding a slug isn't impressive, and eating one is kinda mean because what will the hedgehog eat ? What you do is impressive Dad, you save people and teach other people how to save people." 

"Thank you darling" Being a Father and a Firefighter isn't always the best mix but everytime Ciri says things like that it makes Geralt so proud.

"Uhm Dad, did you see that woman again, the one you went on a pizza date with?"

"Hmm no, she called me this morning and told me that I am nice but she has some family trouble and needs to focus on her family." 

"Oh okay"

Yeah Geralt had a few dates every now and then. Yeah Ciri is his whole world, but he still is a Human and he misses the Romance in his life. The truth is Geralt hasn't the best dating game. He doesn't know what to talk about, when he doesn't talk about Ciri or his work or his Dog. He doesn't mention his daughter on the first dates, and when they actually reach a second or third date and Geralt tells them he is a single dad, most people refuse to see him again, it's just a big commitment for them. But also some of them just saw the big strong firefighter with all the muscles and not the man behind them and that's when Geralt says this isn't working out. 

Ciri lays awake in bed, she could hear the TV from the living room. For sure her dad is lonely, but all this adult stuff is so confusing. In Kindergarten everything is easier, like you ask someone if you wanna be friends, then they ask you what you like to play and what's your favorite animal and then you are friends. And one day you draw a picture just for them and you are best friends. But adults don't work like that.

"My Dad needs my help to find someone to watch those silly romantic movies." Ciri whispers to herself. And she already has someone in mind and she has a plan, sort of.

The next day Geralt brought Roach back home before he went to pick up Ciri, and he checked for his wallet three times. He waited as usual in front of the kindergarten. Ciri is running right up at him, in her beautiful green dress. This morning they had an argument because Ciri wanted to wear her favorite dress so badly and Geralt was afraid that she would mess it up in the Kindergarten, but as Ciri promised it's all fine and she looks like the little princess she is to Geralt. 

"Hot Chocolate Day!" Ciri is chanting as she is running to her Dad.

"Yes Sweetheart today I am fully prepared for the Coffeeshop."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

The Coffeeshop is near the Park where Ciri's favorite playground is. That's how they discovered it. Geralt pushed Ciri on the swing when a heavy rain surprised them. Geralt covered his daughter under his jacket and ran in the next building he found. The sweet little Coffeeshop at the Park. Geralt liked it because it wasn't that big and not many people fit in there and Ciri loved it because it's near her favorite playground and because they have so many beautiful cups and mugs. 

They arrived at the Coffeeshop and because they already became regulars so they got greeted nicely. At first Geralt didn’t like it that strangers knew Ciri’s name, but he got used to it and the staff here is really nice. 

A young tall man came up to their table and Ciri jumps up and ran towards him 

"Jaskier! Look that’s my favorite dress” 

“Oh hi Ciri it’s really beautiful, you look like a princess” 

Geralt watches the scene with eagle eyes, but he knows Jaskier is no harm for his little girl, he is usually their waiter when they are in the Coffeeshop.

Jaskier lets Ciri twirl around herself, so the pretty green dress starts flying. 

“My Daddy says that too.” Ciri stops spinning.

“Your Daddy says what ?” Jaskier seems to be confused with that statement.

“This morning my Daddy also said that I look like a princess. And when I am a princess my Dad must be a king right?”

“Then lead me to your king, princess Ciri.” 

Jaskier could clearly see Geralt sitting at their favorite spot at the window, but he likes to play along with Ciri’s little games. 

“Your Majesty I present to you, your daughter princess Ciri” Jaskier takes a bow in front of Geralt and Ciri tries to stay in character but could resist a little laugh.

“I have been sent directly from the kitchen to ask what the King and his daughter would like to eat and drink today.”

Geralt is a little lost for words, normally these silly games stay between Ciri and Jaskier, but now he is dragged into it like a theater play and he hasn’t learned his lines. Geralt tries his best to play along because he knows how much it means to his little girl if he does.

“May he bring us hot chocolate and strawberry pie for the princess and mint tea and cheesecake for me the King.” 

Ciri giggles again.

“I like Jaskier he always so funny and nice to us”

“Yeah that is true” 

Geralt stares out of the window, and he just enjoys the quiet coffeeshop. It wasn’t actually quiet but it wasn’t stressful like his day at the fire station. There was a fire near in the forest this morning, just because some stupid assholes had Barbeque last night and didn’t end their fire properly. 

He turns around and on the table are the ordered pies and his tea but no hot chocolate is there and Ciri is gone too. 

Panic runs through Geralt's veins, where is she?  He was just looking away for a second. But then he saw her holding on to Jaskier’s hand as they picked a cup for her hot chocolate. How could he forget that she always picks a new beautiful cup to drink her hot chocolate from. She walked back to her Dad and sat next to him on the bench.

“I picked a cup with stars and the moon on it”

Jaskier walks over to their table and places Ciris cup right next to her pie. 

“I saw there was smoke in the forest, was there a fire?”

At first Geralt is confused because he never told Jaskier that he is a Firefighter, but then he remembered that Ciri talks a lot with Jaskier if he has the time.

“Yeah there was a fire, but gladly it was near the forest not directly in there.” Jaskier looks relieved.

“Some people made a barbeque there and the remaining hot ashe lit the dry grass on fire”

Geralt could see the disbelief in Jaskier’s face, he really couldn’t hide his emotions.

“I hope you and your crew are okay”

“We are good, it was just another fire because of careless people”

He didn’t wanna say drunk people in front of Ciri, but the look on Jaskier’s face showed him that he did understand what he meant with “careless”.

“Ciri, your Dad is truly a hero, he and his crew saved the forest”

Ciri grinned and cheered “yes they are all heroes, my Dad, uncle Eskel, uncle Lambert and Vesemir” 

New customers enter the place and Jaskier has to  leave Geralt and Ciri. They eat and drink and Ciri told stories from the Kindergarten and from her best friend Dara. Even more people entered the coffeeshop as they left. They waved Goodbye to Jaskier and left the busy place. With Ciri’s tiny hand in his own he was so happy he had a daughter like her and this little coffeeshop they could call their special place. 

[mothnem]

Scout's Guide to Building a Merc Team: Part 4-Medics

Scout: Okay, I'm running a bit late viewers, but the other two are already in the meeting room.

Faint sound of voices talking they are fading in and out as Scout gets closer

Heavy: ..... really relaxed.

Sniper: Yeah, copped the root... night long. Best time .... Spy.

Scout: shoves door open, Sniper is leaning back in his chair very relaxed, Heavy is looking smug YOU SAID YOU SAW A SPY!?

Sniper:..... I said I played eye spy.

Scout: Sorry. Thought I heard you saw Spy.

Heavy: You did. But not the previous word.

Scout: Awww...... Spies are so hard to catch! But enough about Spies! Let's talk about Medics! Medics are insane, will give you "upgrades" even if you don't want them and have this weird affinity for pigeons.

Heavy: They are doves.

Scout: But we have the Medic's weakness! A Heavy! Medics love Heavies! They stick together all the time! I bet they wanna marry each other!

Heavy: turns red while coughing

Sniper: Let's just get this over with.

Scout: Okay! For this, you send in... the Heavy. He'll just pick up the Medic! But first, we have to infiltrate the Medic's lair. And that's dangerous indeed. All sorts of weird experiments and surgical equipment. Like "stethoscopes." What's a stethoscope anyway?

Heavy: It's something to help Doktor listen to your...

Scout: We may never know! But soon, we will have the Medic.

A few minutes later: a set of double doors looms above the trio

Heavy: Are we done crouching? Legs are getting tired.

Scout: Yeah. Stands up and the doors are now normal height. So! Heavy! Knock on the door!

Heavy: Knocks Doktor? Are you in?

Medic: From inside Ja! One moment meine liebe! Opens the door How can I....

Scout: GET HIM! tries to tackle Medic

Medic: Yanks out his bonesaw VHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

Scout: JOIN MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!

Medic: VHAT CHANNEL!? tries to slash Scout

Heavy: Please Doktor! Scout is so annoying about this!

Medic: NEIN! I VILL NOT JOIN ZIS STUPIDITY! continues to try to slash Scout

Sniper: Cat maid. Definitely cat maid for this shit.

Heavy: What if I do that... thing you wanted us to do?

Medic: Oh? Vell zat's different! puts away the bonesaw I vill join!

Scout: Wait. What thing?

Heavy: Not your business little Scout.

Scout: Grrrrr.... I'll find out!

Medic: You can try.

Scout: FINE! Tune in next time to track down... the infamous Engineer. Spy briefly appears behind Scout with a mischievous smile on his face and a finger held to lips before disappearing again as the camera shuts off

[cerebralinvasion]

february yandere event!!

yikes! i just realized i haven’t posted here in like a month! soooo partially as an apology but mainly because i decided it’d be fun, we’re gonna do a little event! every day of february i’ll write a little bsd x reader drabble for you from this prompt list! with the twist being that all prompts are yandere inspired hehe… i don’t assign characters to a prompt until the day of so feel free to request characters for any day you want! one character can even have multiple slots!! okay that’s all for the notes!! list of prompts below!

1. “Aw, are you gonna cry? Go ahead, it’s not gonna change anything.” (kouyou)

2. “Please be good for me. I don’t want to hurt you.” (atsushi)

3. “I’m doing this for you! Why are you trying to stop me?!” (ranpo)

4. “My life is so bleak without you.”(dazai)

5. “I don’t care if your eyes are filled with love or hate, I just want you to look at me.” (higuchi)

6. “Did you really think you could escape?”(dazai)

7. “I’m all you have left now.”(mushitarou)

8. “What do they have that I don’t?!” (akutagawa)

9. “One more chance! I’m giving you one more chance to fucking stop resisting!” (chuuya)

10. “This might sound weird, but I like it when you’re sick. Because then you let me take care of you.”(yosano)

11. “Sweetheart…where are you hiding? I know you’re here. Come out, come out, wherever you are. I’ll find you anyways, I can hear your breathing.” (jouno)

12. “I don’t mind being a monster as long as I’m your monster.”(akutagawa)

13. “Listen, I’m giving you two choices. Either you start eating willingly or I’ll force you. There’s no way I’m letting you starve yourself to death.”(chuuya)

14. “Why…why do you keep resisting me? That’s not fair! Don’t I deserve to be happy too?!”(akutagawa)

15. “Love is patient. I, however, am not.”(mori)

16. “I just want to protect you. Nothing wrong with that, is it?”(jouno)

17. “Silly little thing. Don’t you realize that this is all your fault?” (fyodor)

18. “These people are stupid! Can’t they see that you’re mine?!” (ranpo)

19. “Good morning ~! Sleep well? I hope the bindings aren’t too tight. Did you know you’re quite the restless sleeper?” (dazai)

20. “hopeless? You think I’m hopeless? Sweetheart. Pigeon. Dove. Don’t you see that you’re the one caged here?”(nikolai)

21. “those bruises… did i do that…?”(chuuya)

22. “oh, you aren’t that drunk, don’t worry. i just drugged you.”(dazai)

23. “i keep pencils you’ve chewed on, pictures i’ve printed of you, clothes i’ve stolen from your room… you think i’m a creep, don’t you?”(poe)

24. “want to escape? tell me, what other person would ever love someone like you?” (fyodor)

25. “I know how fucked up this is. It’s just―there’s no other way I can keep you safe.”(chuuya)

26. “you don’t know how much i hate being this way- but i can’t change.” (tetcho)

27. “Don’t you dare fucking try it. You know you can’t outrun me.” (chuuya)

[unicornsaures]

BRO THAT LAST POST JUST REMINDED IM ACTUAL SO CURIOUS ON THE PLAYLIST PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW KORE ABOUT IT🙏🙏🙏🙏

YES OKAY THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI PART POST BECAUSE YOU GUYS DONT GET IT I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THESE GUYS AAAUGRHJCNCN

putting this under a cut because uh. 10 lyrics per post..takes up a lot of space

1. My way home is through you - MCR

I think this is like, pretty self explanatory? They find comfort in each other and even if they deny their feelings for each other, they still acknowledge that theyre each others "person."

2. Cemetery drive - MCR

(this is like my fav song ever...go listen to it. rn.) ANYWAY, after williams death, henry was obviously EXTREMELY upset, heartbroken, confused, etc. Im using the "collision of your kiss" line as a metaphor for the attachment they held together, but also the original line works too..but aha..yeah!

3. I dont smoke - Mitski

Again, self explanatory. Just both of them waiting for the other to admit feelings first because god knows they cant do it themselves.

4. PUNK girl - Heavenly

Henrys personal view of william is VASTLY different than other peoples, for a good reason obviously! Henry wouldn't/cant see william as a bad/mean person, all he can see william as is someone whos been there for him since Henry was 13. And of course the obligated "i hope he loves me" kinda line because ffs, its them.

5. Hate Yourself - TV girl

Self explanatory, but its just William getting attached to people who get attached first.

6. Hate yourself- TV girl

Yeaaahh, both of them waiting for the other person to admit feelings..again.

7. Arms tonite - Mother Mother

Its canon that william died with henry next to him/holding him so im obligated to include this song🤷‍♀️

8. Demolition lovers - MCR

Codependency and shit hurts them both but they just want each other to know they mean a lot to them and theyre both willing to atay with each other until death ^_^

9. Freak me out - pigeon pit

Ha! William again! This is more of their early-"friendship" where William isnt used to being so prioritized by someone and hes scared that hes doing something wrong by being so attached so quickly.

10. Im your man - Mitski

They both prioritize each other, they look up to each other, even. They just dont want to let the other down and so it turns into this thing where they decrease their own self worth to raise the other person on a pedestal because to them, they saved each other at their lowest points. For the last two lines, considering theyre both codependent, should one of them leave, neither of them think they would/SHOULD live much longer because they're living for each other and without that other person, whats the point.

part two coming really soon☺️(right after i post this)

[natigail]

d&p are each recreating a video from their own channels + one gaming or joint video + you get to pick! which ones are you choosing?

Okay, this was sitting in my inbox for entirely too long, but I have so many DnP thoughts right now that I decided to answer it while the head is abuzzing. You may notice a theme inspired by recent events.

Dan solo video - recreating Basically I'm Gay (except Dangender™️ version)

I don't think I've talked about this before but the gender talk Dan has been talking about lately is so important and intriguing to me. As someone who first figured out my queer sexuality and then my queer gender, I'm so curious to hear him talk about this. And like, he left a door open with the "I feel like a fromless blob" in BIG. Like that came out before I was questioning my gender but it might honestly have been the start of thoughts in the back of my mind. Because that sounded nice. Formless blob. It felt like a very hard hitting vibe. I want another long ass video essay that'll punch me in the gut, make me reflect on society and gender and everything in between.

Phil solo video - recreating Trying To Catch And Rescue An Injured WILD Pigeon (any animal edition)

This video was genuinely so damn delightful and I loved how Phil just went all in on saving a wild animal. Like I felt so much for Steve the pigeon and seeing Phil in action to catch him, call the vet and just figure everything out. Like it was inspiring and heartwarming and with Phil's natural inclination towards animals I don't doubt he could come across another animal that would need help. He's got such a big heart and he could never walk away from anyone that needed help. He can spring into action like no other and his way of storytelling is so damn compelling.

Joint video - recreating DAN AND PHIL MASSIVE PIZZA MUKBANG (Fryday edition?)

Listen, this video is so close to my heart and the way that they invited us in on a sacred Domino tradition and just chatted with us was so freaking great and lovely. It was just them hanging out, only vaguely paying attention to the camera and existing. I would love another video where we're just invited in to observe the chats and see them eat delicious food. Seeing fryday (on a Saturday) could be really cool, though I also understand if they'd want to keep that for themselves. But I just want more of those open and honest vibes, candid little confessions and the pure domesticity of it.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

hi! I want to familiarise myself with John Robins's work, I was wondering if you could recommend a good starting point? the radio show? standup? just thought to ask you, my favourite comedy connoisseur! thanks :)

Oh wow, I thought you’d never ask! By which I mean, when you spend as much time as I do putting completely unsolicited screeds into the internet that I’m pretty sure are of interest only to me, it is rather fun to write one for someone who has specifically said they want to read it. Though I don’t know if you’ll feel the same way by the end of the post, given my penchant for detail and the multiple unnecessary caveats that I’m already planning for this. I will add a cut to spare everyone else the unnecessary detail.

Okay, so. Weird thing about me, given the current state of my blog, I actually disliked John Robins for the first few years that I knew who he was. That is because the first time I saw him was on Mock the Week, where he appeared alongside Sara Pascoe just as their relationship was about to collapse, and he was an absolute dick about it. So definitely don’t start with that. I mean, Sara Pascoe also wasn’t great in that episode, but I already knew and liked her, so I forgave her. I had no such goodwill toward John Robins, and it completely turned me off him for a long time. After that I saw him pop up on other shows once in a blue moon, but found him annoying because I’d already decided I didn’t like him based on Mock the Week. Definitely do not watch him on Mock the Week.

What turned me around was in November 2022, when I came across a copy of The Darkness of Robins, his 2017 stand-up show that won the big Edinburgh award and was made into a Netflix special. I really, really loved it. I remember making a post at the time when I said this is the fastest I’ve ever turned around on any famous person, the biggest swing from disliking them to thinking they’ve made one of my favourite stand-up shows ever.

After that, I did exactly what you’ve done here, which was ask around on Tumblr for where you can go if you’ve just decided you want more John Robins if your life. Because I knew he had a radio show on one station and then another station with that guy who’s (not) married to Isy Suttie, but I also knew those had about 150,000 hours (slightly exaggeration) worth of episodes and obviously no one has time to listen to all that, that would be absolutely ridiculous, what sort of fool would take that on? Obviously I could have just jumped in at the most recent episodes of their radio show, which is something you could do as well if you want, but my brain’s relentlessly completist nature wouldn’t let me do that. I needed something I could watch/hear all of, but have that be under 150,000 hours.

I asked Tumblr about this, and the best recommendation I got was to check out A Robins Amongst the Pigeons. This started as a feature on his radio show in which he read out loud from the autobiography of broadcaster Tony Blackburn, which was meant to be a serious book, but it’s so self-important and unintentionally hilarious that John got quite a few good weeks worth of content from reading out bits to make fun of them (if this seems mean, it helps to know that one of the passages he read said women working outside the home is bad for children, so I don’t feel bad for the guy). Later on, John Robins mentioned that he’d learned the writers of the Alan Partridge autobiography – I, Partridge – had based it partly on Tony Blackburn’s book.

After he finished reading the Blackburn autobiography, John Robins started to write his own autobiography, “in the style of Tony Blackburn”, and read out a chapter each week on the radio. Basically, John Robins is a huge Partridge fan and took the opportunity to write out his own life story the way Alan Partridge would tell that life story, and it’s really, really funny. It’s a good introduction to John because it goes through his life and lets you know what he’s like, and that gives you an idea of what sort of things he’ll say if you get into the rest of his work. And it’s also a good introduction to John because it’s really, really funny. If you listen to that and don’t find it funny, you probably won’t like the rest of his stuff.

Someone on YouTube compiled all the clips of John reading chapters from A Robins Amongst the Pigeons, and put them on YouTube so you can hear the all as one long string:

I downloaded that YouTube video, converted it to mp3, put it on my phone and listened to it like an audiobook. My biggest recommendation for someone who wants an introduction to John Robins would be that you do the same. He’s also released it as a paperback book, and did a few live performances where he read it out loud to an audience back when he first wrote it (2015), which is good because it’s too funny to have remained just a feature on a weekly radio show.

The next thing I did when getting into John Robins was go to his Bandcamp page, where he’s released three of his old stand-up shows:

They’re his 2013, 2014, and 2015 Edinburgh shows, with the dates listed on Bandcamp all being from a year later because they were recorded on tours the following years. I think they noticeably get better with each year, and his writing and delivery skills improve. Speakeasy is objectively the best one, Where Is My Mind not quite as good but still made me laugh more than a lot of stand-up hours do. This Tornado Loves You is, I think, not quite objectively as good as Speakeasy. But might edge Speakeasy out as my favourite of the three because it hits some things that I subjectively really love in stand-up.

He did a stand-up show in 2019 called Hot Shame, which I'd really really love to hear, but he's said he never recorded a version that was far enough along, with high enough audio quality to publish (though personally, I would happily take a version with shit audio quality and/or early WIP). In 2023, he did a stand-up show called Howl, which he's recently said he has on audio recording and is planning to publish on Bandcamp at some point, but it's not there yet. I am very much looking forward to hearing that one when it come out.

(Disclaimer: This Tornado Loves You has a routine about PMT/PMS where I see what he was trying to do, it’s not just an average “women be crazy on their periods” routine, he says it with an understanding that the victim here is the woman suffering from painful symptoms, and has said similar things at other times. However, I don’t think the stand-up routine does enough of that to make up for the inherent shitty-ness of a cis man making a joke about his girlfriend getting disproportionately emotional on her period, and I just want to clarify that, because I don’t want anyone to listen to that stand-up show, hear that routine, remember that I said that stand-up show is my favourite of all the Bandcamp releases by one of my favourite comedians, and therefore, I must think cis men telling jokes like that is a good idea. I don’t, I think that was a misstep in an otherwise great show.

The reason I add this caveat is because in the last months, I’ve had three different people watch The Darkness of Robins at my recommendation, and all of them came back with the comment… so this thing that you’ve been calling one of your favourite shows ever – did you mean to go so hard on endorsing a show that ends with a really inappropriate amount of sexual detail about Sara Pascoe, a woman whose name the audience knows, and it’s probably not cool for him to be saying that about her in public? Because this has happened before, I feel the need to say, again, in case anyone watching Darkness of Robins as a result of this post: I don’t love the part at the end where he describes sex with a person the audience can identify in an inappropriate amount of detail. When I endorse the show, I do not endorse that. I hope he asked her if it was cool to talk about that on stage before he did so, but I don’t know if he did, and I have a feeling he probably didn’t. Having said that, I recently watched a bunch of Sara Pascoe’s stand-up from across the years, and I hugely enjoyed it because she’s very funny, but I also learned more sexual details than I wanted to know about John Robins from her stand-up, so I would argue that they are, at best, even in terms of inappropriate talking about each other on stage. Also, for anyone who’s reading this but hasn’t seen the show, I’d like to clarify that it’s not like he goes on some misogynistic rant about her, he just describes sex with her in detail that gets a bit graphic for a couple of minutes.

While I’m caveating, I’ll just throw all my disclaimers in together, I did also have someone watch Darkness of Robins and say they were surprised I liked it so much because the stuff near the beginning, where he talks about how his relationship fell apart, feels a bit like the misogynistic stand-up trope of Man Complains About His Girlfriend For Being Less Logical And Rational Than Him. I’d like to say I actually stand by that routine, he’s built quite a bit of his comedy on talking about how he is compulsively and maladaptively meticulous about everything and is therefore more logical than everyone, he spends half his radio show complaining about how Elis James isn’t logical enough and doesn’t put enough thought into planning and organizing and getting everything right, that’s not a gender thing, that’s just his thing. A lot of his comedy is about his obsession with being precise about everything to the point of overthinking that ruins his life, and if you are reading this post in which I’ve just spent three paragraphs adding unnecessary caveats because I get paranoid about anything I say being misinterpreted, you might understand why that appeals to me so much.

Summary: I do not endorse the menstruation routine of 2014 or some of the sex details of 2017, but I do endorse the many parts of his comedy in which he comes off as an exhausting nightmare, that is very much part of the appeal, though it may not appeal to everyone.)

Besides his stand-up, he’s done some guest appearances on TV, radio, and podcasts. I was about to start listing the ones I’ve found, though it’s probably easier to just give you a screenshot of my folders of his audio guest spots:

and TV guest spots:

I've watched/listened to everything in those folders up to October 2018, since I'm currently working through the radio shows and going through all those other things chronologically alongside it, so I haven't seen the things past 2018 and can't speak to what's in them. Technically, it's possible that he became a flat Earther. So there's another disclaimer: any views expressed by John Robins after October 2018, I haven't heard and cannot endorse. But there's definitely some good stuff in the earlier years.

If any of the shows in the above screenshots are one you already like, then tracking down John Robins' episodes of them is probably a good intro to John Robins (or send me a message if you want a link). Except that second Mock the Week one - don't watch that no matter how much you normally like Mock the Week.

Of his guest spots on TV and audio, a lot of the best ones are better if you're already familiar with John from his radio show or at least from his stand-up, but some hold up pretty well even without that context. His Live From The BBC episode is a shortened (half an hour instead of an hour) version of his Speakeasy show, if you want to see a (shortened) video version of that instead of hearing the audio (and if you are a completist like me, it has a bit of material that's not in the Bandcamp version so it's worth watching). His other TV stand-up guest spots are mainly just little repeats of stuff that's in his longer published shows, except the Russell Howard's Good News extra, which has an older routine that's not in his Bandcamp shows.

I'd say his episodes of Alan Davies' show are particularly fun, though warning that there is a story in the episode he did with Russell Howard that's really weird. There's also another story that he either stole from Adam and Joe, or he was the person who sent that story into Adam and Joe, and I fear it was probably the former, but he wouldn't be the first to steal someone else's story on As Yet Untitled.

On the subject of people who steal other people's stories on As Yet Untitled, I found him very very funny on Isy Suttie's podcast, though he was quite drunk and I can imagine a person with less tolerance for drunken shoutiness could find it annoying. He's good value on Pappy's, a lot of fun and usually drunk (pre-2023, at least). He has a nice rapport with Richard Herring. He played a really weird song on Jon Richardson's old radio show. He told us about a sex dream he had on The Horne Section podcast. And he bickered with his girlfriend on Do the Right Thing. I also thought the Robins/James episode of Comedian's Comedian was excellent (Robins and James both did individual ones that were also both good, but the one they did together is one of my favourites out of the 76 episodes of that podcast that I've heard (I almost wrote ~75 there so I could pretend I don't have a spreadsheet to know the exact number, but why pretend that at this point?)), but it gets pretty deep into stuff from their radio show, so probably isn't worth a listen unless you've heard that show.

John Robins also released a book in 2018, called The Holy Vible, co-written with his radio buddy Elis James. I'm currently nearly done listening to the audiobook of that, and to be honest, there's a lot of filler that will be of interest only to someone who's already very, very interested in whatever John and Elis have to say. Which I am, so I'm enjoying the book, but I definitely don't recommend it to anyone who's not already very much into the radio show.

And that brings me to the 150,000 hours of their radio show, since that's pretty much the only place left to go. It was early 2023 when I listened to his Bandcamp stand-up shows, said I love these and I loved Darkness of Robins and I loved A Robins Amongst the Pigeons, I guess the next step would have to be the radio. But I don't have 150,000 hours to spare to listen to all that. So I guess that's as far as I'm going with the Robins fandom. I even made a post in which I said "John Robins is dangerous - not in general, but to me", because I like him so much that at any moment I could slip down the radio rabbit hole, and then I'd lose 150,000 hours of my life. I held out for nearly a year after I wrote that post, but here I am now.

The radio show with John Robins and Elis James started out in February 2014 on the indie music radio station XFM. XFM rebranded as Radio X in 2015, and they continued to make the same show on Radio X until they left in February 2019. In May 2019, they began broadcasting pretty much the same show (I think, haven't heard it yet, he might be a flat Earther) on BBC Five Live. They continued to do that until the end of 2023, and in 2024, they started doing some other thing that I don't understand. They record it as a podcast first (as opposed to live radio that gets edited and released as a podcast, which is what they did from 2014 to 2023), and then highlights from the podcast get broadcast on the radio, and it's released twice a week, also there are videos, I don't know, I haven't got that far in the chronology. I'm still on October 2018.

I can say that the XFM/Radio X episodes they did between February 2014 and October 2018 are fun, engaging, very funny, often interesting, and I think have been worth the several months of my life it's taken me to listen to them. They go up and down, like anything else that's produced that many hours - there have been a few times when I've thought the show was in a bit of a slump and hasn't been that funny for a couple of months, but just as I'm thinking that, they'll pick it up and do a run of like eight great episodes in a row. Overall, in my subjective opinion, they've had far more strong periods than weak ones. They have a great dynamic with each other and with the features. They spend too much time reading out emails but that's going to happen on a radio show. I'm not particularly into their food tasting segments but that's just because food shows don't generally appeal to me, I love their running quiz segments because competitive features do appeal to me. Your mileage may vary. Also, you don't have to do the relentless completist thing that I do. You could just jump in now at the latest episodes of whatever the hell their BBC show is now.

Oh, and he plays golf on YouTube with Alex Horne. I haven't watched that because I dislike golf and I haven't got there in the chronology yet, but I'll probably end up watching it at some point. A lot of people like it and I think it's probably funny, but I haven't seen it myself so I can't speak to that. It's called Bad Golf and you can find it on the internet.

To give a proper shot at answering the original question, which I now feel like was asked 100 years ago: I think the best introduction to John Robins is a Robins Amongst the Pigeons, linked above, that I recommend listening to like an audiobook. I did Darkness of Robins first, but I think the best order for a good introduction would be Robin Amongst the Pigeons first, to get a good overview of what he's like and what you're getting into with him, and you'll get that overview via 100 minutes that you'll either find very entertaining, or you won't and you'll know not to bother with the rest of his stuff.

After that, I'd say, if you have any completist tendencies, or tendencies like mine toward doing things in chronological order because I think everything is better if you have all the context for it first, then I would recommend listening to his Bandcamp shows in order (Where Is My Mind, then This Tornado Loves You, then Speakeasy), and then watching Darkness of Robins. If you're not bothered about that, just skip to Darkness of Robins because it's the best one. If you do all that and are still interested in finding more John Robins content, then I'm afraid you may have to set off on a journey to give up 150,000 hours of your life the way I have.

Well, there might be one other option. There are other clips and clip compilations from their radio shows, and while I personally have difficulty doing anything in clip form if I haven't gone through the full-length version first (Robins Amongst the Pigeons was an exception because that was its own thing, it was a collection of radio clips but they've also been released as their own book), some of those may be fun in isolation. You can flip through this playlist to find some of them (you can CTRL+F the word "complete" on that page to find compilations of their features and running topics):

One time, in a fairly early XFM episode, Elis informed the listeners that someone had written an email to the show that asked what their five favourite albums were, and John had written a reply that was an essay of several thousand words, and then apologized on the radio by saying there was no way this person wanted their inbox taken up by that much rambling. That may be what's happened here, the difference being that I don't have the status of a (then-future) Perrier-winning comedian to justify why anyone wants to read this many of my words. But still, I'm glad you asked.